Inside the Novitiate - Part 2
A Year of Listening, Learning, and Letting Go
Before professing first vows, SVD candidates spends a year in novitiate—set apart for prayer, discernment, and self-discovery. In this series, three novices share how this sacred year is shaping their journey toward religious life.
Part II: Deepening the Journey: The Slow Work of Grace
When Andrew Nguyen entered the novitiate year in Techny, he expected growth.
What he did not expect was how much that growth would depend on small, almost invisible decisions.
“From seemingly insignificant choices,” he reflected, “like adding an extra slice of bell pepper to my salad or adding an extra minute of prayer to my life each day… it is precisely these small everyday choices that slowly transform me.”
In the novitiate, discernment is not only about major life decisions. It is about learning how daily habits, attitudes, and priorities shape a heart that is ready to say yes to God.
Growing in Every Direction
Since entering the novitiate, Andrew has grown in steady, concrete ways. He has become physically healthier through regular exercise and a healthier diet. He has deepened his understanding of the SVD through study and reflection. And through journaling and the daily examen—a reflective prayer practice created by St. Ignatius of Loyola—he has developed a sharper awareness of how God is at work in his life.
“With the memory and mind God has given me,” he said, “I am able to reflect on my life each day and recognize patterns, ultimately becoming more aware of God’s presence in my life, especially in the seemingly mundane.”
One of the most unexpected gifts of this year has been silence.
Though naturally inclined toward introversion, Andrew admits that interior silence did not come easily. Even when the environment was quiet, his mind often raced with thoughts and ideas. But over time, the structured periods of silence in the novitiate began to cultivate something deeper.
“God has helped me cultivate richer soil to plant seeds in,” he said. “Already I am beginning to see sprouts surfacing from the garden of my life.”
The novitiate has not changed him overnight. Instead, it has created the conditions for steady growth.
The 30-Day Retreat
The heart of Andrew’s year so far has been the 30-day silent retreat.
“Truth be told, words are simply inadequate,” he said. “God took me where I was and transformed barrier after barrier that limited my openness.”
Like many who enter the retreat, Andrew arrived with expectations—ideas of what it would feel like or how he would pray. Instead, he found it stretched him in ways he didn’t expect.
The exterior silence helped. But the greater battle was within.
“Prior to the retreat, I cannot recall a moment when my mind was not racing with thoughts and ideas,” he admitted.
During those 30 days, God slowly led him toward a deeper interior quiet. It did not happen all at once. It came through perseverance—through being present to God during each prayer period, even when it felt dry, full of distractions, or exhausting.
There were nights when he woke up multiple times and felt physically drained. There were prayer periods when he sat in what he described as “agony,” waiting for the time to pass. His thoughts wandered. Distractions surfaced.
And yet, something surprising happened.
“No matter what happened during each prayer period,” he said, “it always bore fruit.”
Even the struggles became grace. Wrestling with distraction strengthened his patience. Physical exhaustion led him to a more personal awareness of Christ’s suffering. The experience revealed a simple truth: as long as he remained present to God, God was working.
“God did not waste a single moment,” he said.
By the end of the retreat, Andrew felt he had grown significantly in prayer. And yet, the growth did not produce pride or a sense of arrival.
Instead, it humbled him.
“Even though I felt I had deepened my prayer life considerably,” he reflected, “I realized I had made it to the tip of the tip of the iceberg.”
The more he grew, the more he realized there was still room to grow.
Learning to Rely on God
One of the clearest lessons Andrew learned during the retreat was his dependence on God.
“Through the 30-day retreat, I became much more aware that God is carrying me every step of the way,” he said.
That awareness led not to anxiety, but to gratitude.
He has learned that discernment is less about figuring everything out on his own and more about trusting God step by step. Less about proving himself worthy, and more about responding daily to God’s initiative.
He has also come to see vocation as an ongoing dynamic, not a single dramatic decision.
“This call and response dynamic is a forever ongoing process,” he said. “Each and every day, I need to listen to God’s call for me and respond to it.”
Living in community reinforces that lesson. The shared meals, liturgies, conversations—and even the tensions that come with community life—give him a realistic glimpse of what religious life entails. Missionary life, he realizes, is not lived in isolation. It requires learning to grow with others—imperfectly, patiently, faithfully.
Small Decisions, Lasting Impact
As he moves into the second half of the novitiate year, Andrew senses that God is calling him to focus on three things: making major decisions with trust, embracing small daily changes, and reordering his priorities where needed.
The large decisions—first vows and the path toward priesthood or brotherhood—are real and weighty. But he now understands that they are built upon countless smaller choices made day by day.
Discernment, he has discovered, is not usually dramatic. It happens in daily prayer, small choices, and steady growth. Every moment of struggle, every distraction, every act of perseverance becomes part of the journey. And in that slow, steady process, grace quietly does its work.